The Segway is two things: a thing mall cops ride and a thing you may ride on a tour. That's it. And what a fall from grace it is for this weird device, because it's an innovative piece of tech that never stood a chance.
For the unfamiliar, the Segway was marketed as a revolutionary way to get around when you didn't want to walk and distances were too short for a car. Dean Kamen invented it and tried to market it as "the "the next big thing." We know that never panned out, but the "why" that defined its failure is a fascinating look at this weird piece of technology.
A great piece from Company Man has pieced together the five main reasons nobody ever bought this thing. And yes, there's Paul Blart reference too.